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Taking on End-of-Life Decisions as a Family

An artist's interpretation of the River Styx

This blog post is the first in a series of guest posts by Arashi about end-of-life care planning and documentation in honor of National Healthcare Decisions Day.

Both of my parents had careers that brought them close to the larger issues of life and death. My mother spent her entire career as a nurse, specializing in the treatment of cancer. My father was a police officer who worked his way up to become a homicide detective. Through these two careers, they both experienced the extreme fragility of life.

My mother, in particular, would tell me stories of many nights where she held a patient's hand as the person died. She'd half-jokingly refer to herself as a servant on the River Styx, the river in Greek mythology that formed the boundary between Earth and the underworld.

There was one incident that left a deep impression on her. She was working a late night in the cancer ward taking care of a woman who was losing her battle. She had been fighting for months. Her family was almost constantly at her bedside, urging her to be strong, to pull through. My mother could see the patient herself was clearly exhausted, but her family wouldn't give up the fight.

Read more: Taking on End-of-Life Decisions as a Family

This Week in the Movement

"Twinkies, Rest In Peeps" care of The Washington Post

Throughout the week, we keep people up-to-date with information about the Death with Dignity movement and other topics related to end-of-life care through Facebook and Twitter. Below are highlights from this week.

Efforts regarding Death with Dignity:

Read more: This Week in the Movement

Game of Thrones and Living with Death

Game of Thrones Season 3, image care of HBO

Any discussion of water-cooler television these days has to include HBO's Game of Thrones. The show is based on a best-selling series of fantasy novels by George R.R. Martin, with five books presently in print and two more to come. I first discovered the books over ten years ago, and I find it amusing to see a whole new audience react to the many shocking plot twists and unexpected deaths of major characters through a different medium. With a new season set to premiere this Sunday, the buzz is heavy around who's survived the events at the end of the previous season, and who'll be next to go. Though set in a fantastical medieval world where seasons last for years, the reality of death is a constant in Martin's universe. The nation of Westeros (or The Seven Kingdoms) is rarely at peace and, even in peacetime, disputes between various feudal lords, bandits, drought, famine, disease, and the ever-approaching threat of winter and its accompanying deprivation make the threat of sudden death routine for its inhabitants.

Read more: Game of Thrones and Living with Death

A Tale of Two Directives

Kathy Kastner's Mom

Kathy Kastner is just a regular gal who found herself pondering her own anxieties about dying, wanting to learn more about the process of dying, and seeking more knowledge about her end-of-life options. She knew she wasn't alone in this thirst for knowledge about what's often considered a taboo subject, and started BestEndings to serve as a portal of information and resources about end-of-life care.

My mom died 30 years ago. 

I hadn't given much thought about the decisions which were made before her death until I began my own journey of exploration into life's end which became BestEndings.

I found my mother's end—which started years before she actually died—creeping into my conscious. As the youngest of four, I had no part in the decision process when it came to her last months. And until a recent conversation with my older sister, I was absolutely positive my mother's advance directive was, "I want to be kept alive at all costs."

Read more: A Tale of Two Directives

This Week in the Movement

Awkward news captions via BuzzFeed

Throughout the week, we keep people up-to-date with information about the Death with Dignity movement and other topics related to end-of-life care through Facebook and Twitter. Below are highlights from this week.

Efforts regarding Death with Dignity:

Read more: This Week in the Movement

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Defend dignity. Take action.

You are the key to ensuring well-crafted Death with Dignity laws for all Americans. With your financial and volunteer help, the Death with Dignity National Center, a 501(c)(3), non-partisan, non-profit organization, has been the leading advocate in the death with dignity movement. Member contributions helped us pass a new Death with Dignity law in Washington, defend the Oregon law, and provide education and outreach programs for the vitality of the death with dignity movement.

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