from our blog: living with dying |
Why I Support Death with Dignity
posted by Guest Blogger on December 26, 2011
Glenn Havelock
Glenn Havelock has been interested in the rights of individuals as far back as he can remember, which makes his association with Death with Dignity a logical fit. An avid traveller, Glenn has visited over 100 countries. At times, he's ended up in some unique places, such as being two blocks away from the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.
Glenn resides in Basking Ridge, NJ.
What death with dignity means to me: in a word, choice.
People that I discuss death with dignity with often ask me where my convictions came from. For me, it probably started with the story of Karen Ann Quinlan.
I'm often challenged by people who assert that "it's against the law of God" for people to achieve or wish for a death with dignity. I usually ask these people what type of a hotline to God they've got—because if they do have one, I could use it to ask God to get me some help in lowering my property taxes.
Anyway, back to Karen Ann Quinlan. As a New Jersey resident (where this story unfolded) I followed Karen's story closely. I was surprised—and appalled—a third party would or could intervene in what I thought was a family's most private decision. I always thought that when a member of one's family reached a state where they were in considerable pain and suffering that could not be relieved—and very possibly the person in question was close to death—the person involved had the right to decide whether it was time to end their life.
Many years later, a psychologist I knew for many years incurred massive brain damage that could not be undone due to a very unfortunate accident in a hospital. His family was forced to make a decision for him, and one which would end his life in a vegetative state. Fortunately, he had informed his family of his wishes in case he was ever in the situation that he eventually found himself. The hospital respected the family's wishes that he be allowed to die and taken off of life support.
As a society, we've made many leaps forward in planning our end-of-life care in advance and medical professionals respecting these wishes. A lot of work still needs to be done, but we've definitely moved forward. Another area to concentrate on is the right to determine whether or not to shorten our suffering when we have a terminal illness.
We all know Jack Kevorkian's story well enough. Families actually came to him to ask for assistance for their seriously, if not terminally, ill relatives for a humane way to end a life that had been reduced to nothing but suffering and pain. Kevorkian certainly got the right-to-die issue out in the open...a topic many didn't want to talk about, but something which really needed to be discussed.
The Death with Dignity National Center fought incredibly hard to codify the right to decide one's own end-of-life care through the Oregon and Washington Death with Dignity Acts. Their crusade to defend the most precious right of a death with dignity is a major reason why I'm a donor. We, as a society, cannot have any organization, church (the Catholic Church with their US Conference of Catholic bishops is a particularly egregious violator of one's right to make end of life decisions), lawyer, hospital, government entity, or any other person outside one's immediate family interfere with this decision.
I fervently hope we will see the day when all 50 states have laws such as in Oregon and Washington. Enlightenment, it seems, comes very slowly amongst those who see everything in black and white.
I strongly suggest you discuss your wishes with your immediate family. Make sure they know how you feel. And while you're at it, consider planning your funeral—given death is the one reality we can't escape. An excellent organization to help you out is the Funeral Consumers Alliance.
I hope those who are reading will support the work of the Death with Dignity National Center both morally and financially. The work they do deserves our fervent support. Remember, you may be the one having to make the ultimate decision at some point in your life. And wouldn't you prefer the decision rest with you and your family, rather than an anonymous third party doing it for you?
A death with dignity means choice. Let's all do our best to make sure it's preserved for all of us.
May you all have a safe and happy holiday season!
Comments
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Posted by Emily Emmi on Thursday, January 12 at 11:28 a.m.
I am already on your e-mail list. 5 years ago I was alone with my 83 year-old mother in a hospice facility and I witnessed hours of suffering as my mother's life ended. The young, inexperienced hospice nurse would only administer the "acceptable" dose of morphine. As such, my beautiful mother endured hours and hours of pain as her lungs closed down due to lung cancer. I had to give her the nebulizer on my own while the staff chatted with each other at the same time my mom died an awful death. I had to beg for her last dose of morphine which she was due to have (she barely had a pulse at that time and was "frozen"). One of the nurses called my siblings and told them I killed my mother. My life changed profoundly that night.
I support Death With Dignity in so many ways and I thank you so very much for your kindness and much needed actions.
Emily
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Posted by Melissa Barber on Friday, January 20 at 01:05 p.m.
I'm so sorry you had such a difficult experience surrounding your mother's death. Access to proper pain management is a very important part of end-of-life care, and like the option of assisted death, it should be available to terminally-ill people in all states.
Best,
Melissa
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Melissa Barber
Electronic Communications Specialist
Death with Dignity National Center -
Posted by Tasha on Sunday, February 05 at 01:05 a.m.
I am sorry you had such a horrible experience with hospice. I recently lost my mother on Dec. 27,2011 due to COPD. Watching such a stronger person lose her dignity and the suffering was a tremendous shock. At the very end I didn't feel she was sedated enough. Seeing the suffering she experienced was difficult. I found this website and I support death with dignity.
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Posted by Melissa Barber on Monday, February 06 at 04:05 p.m.
Thank you so much for your support, Tasha! We'll keep working so people in all states have the ability to decide what's best for themselves when facing a terminal illness.
Best,
Melissa
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Melissa Barber
Electronic Communications Specialist
Death with Dignity National Center
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The greatest human freedom is to live, and die, according to one's own desires and beliefs. From advance directives to physician-assisted dying, death with dignity is a movement to provide options for the dying to control their own end-of-life care.
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