Randee Laikind

Randee is a volunteer with Dignity 2012, and recently helped to collect signatures for the Massachusetts Death with Dignity effort. She's one of the founders of Hampshire County Hospice, served on their first Board of Directors, and was their first Volunteer Coordinator. She's also a member of the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Massachusetts, served as a Trustee, and was President of Western Massachusetts Hemlock Society for many years. She's provided support and education around death and dying issues to her community for over 30 years. She lives and works in western Massachusetts.

I recently had the honor to collect signatures here in Massachusetts for the initiative petition on Death With Dignity. I say it was an honor because this petition, if it makes it to the ballot box in November 2012, will afford those who choose to end their lives with dignity and respect the opportunity to do so.

As I stood out on the streets and approached folks I was fearful of the reactions I might encounter. Would people shake their heads "no" and walk away or curse me out? I do live in a five-college community but still one never knows. I know I don't like being accosted by people with clipboards myself; so, I was very careful to be polite and respectful.

The good news is no one said "no," walked away, or ignored me. Most people asked "where do I sign?" after they understood what the petition was about. No one wanted any further explanation.

In Greenfield, I asked a woman if she'd be interested in signing and she shook her head "yes" as I handed her the clipboard. She took her time and as she was writing a tear trickled down her cheek and more came. All the while she didn't speak. Finally she was finished and handed the clipboard back to me. I asked if she was OK and she said her dad had died recently and it was a horrific experience of suffering and incalculable pain. She said if Death with Dignity was in effect, his death would have been so very different. She thanked me for collecting signatures and walked away.

Another day, I was running into a local restaurant to get lunch to-go. As I waited in line, my former doctor walked in and we chatted while waiting for our orders. She asked what I was up to and I told her about the petition. She said "where do I sign?" I had them in my car; so, we dashed to my car in the pouring rain and she signed leaning halfway into the back seat. She said, "thanks for doing this, it's important."

We don't think about the stress on doctors who struggle with what to do when a patient wants to end his or her life. My best friend was dying from ovarian cancer last year. She had a very sharp sense of humor and when the doctor told her the prognosis she asked "can I have a physician aide in dying with dignity? The doctor said legally she was unable to help and my friend asked, "how about flying me to Seattle?"

I had a letter to the editor published in our local newspaper recently. A few nights later, I received a call from an elderly gentleman. He said he read my letter and wanted to sign the petition. We agreed to meet at a Dunkin Donuts in Northampton. He was going to be wearing a hooded sweatshirt. I arrived at the appointed time and spotted him at a table in the back. We sat and talked, he signed and asked if I had blank forms, because he too wanted to collect signatures. He then told me of caring for his older brother.

They grew up together and were always close. When his brother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer he cared for him and tended him through his death. He spoke with a heavy heart and then asked me if I minded if a friend of his could join us. Soon another older gent arrived. This was a rough and tumble outdoors-man, kind of on the gruff and grizzled side. He also spoke with great passion about his experience with a dying friend and why this petition was so important to him. We sat and talked for an hour and again they thanked me.

This experience has been a humbling one as I encounter random strangers and learn their stories. It is truly an honor to do this work.